Practical Ways to Help a Grieving Loved One

If you truly want to help a grieving family member or friend, don’t just utter the trite, empty phrase, “Let me know if I can help.” While commonly used, this hollow comment might make you feel better but it only adds another burden to someone already exhausted by grief and the many decisions he or she has made while planning a funeral or memorial service following the death of a loved one.

If you really want to aid a grieving family member or friend mourning the death of a loved one, offer a specific suggestion or two from the following list of more than 60 practical ways you can help. Please note: In some cases, you shouldn’t undertake these suggestions without first running it past the grieving person, a member of the immediate family, or a close friend of the deceased.

• Cut the grass
• Wash his or her car
• Fill-up his or her car’s gas tank
• Shovel the snow
• Water the lawn

• Feed the family pet(s)
• Take the family pet(s) for a walk
• Clean out his or her refrigerator
• Buy groceries
• Do the laundry

• Drop-off/pick-up their dry cleaning
• Take-in their mail, packages and/or newspapers
• Pick-up a prescription or run some other errand
• Babysit his or her child(ren)
• Drop-off/pick-up their child(ren) at school or other events

• Offer to cook dinner
• Take him or her out to dinner
• Deliver a ready-to-eat meal
• Offer to housesit while he or she is away, for security reasons
• Water the plants

• Clean his or her home
• Hire someone to clean his or her home
• Help fill out insurance forms
• Mail bills
• Pay bills

• Transport leftover funeral flowers
• Drive him or her to/from the funeral, interment site or anywhere needed
• Clean out the deceased’s refrigerator
• Clean the deceased’s home
• Hire someone to clean the deceased’s home

• Offer to housesit the deceased’s home, for security reasons
• Water the deceased’s plants
• Cut the deceased’s lawn
• Wash/clean the deceased’s car for later resale or donation
• Shovel the snow on the deceased’s property

• Water the deceased’s lawn
• Feed the deceased’s family pet(s)
• Take the deceased’s pet(s) for a walk
• Do the deceased’s laundry (if it will be donated)
• Pick-up the deceased’s dry cleaning

• Take-in the deceased’s mail, packages and/or newspapers
• Babysit the deceased’s child(ren)
• Drop-off/pick-up the deceased’s child(ren) at school or other events
• Secure the deceased’s home (lock doors/windows, put a light on a timer, etc.)
• Check the deceased’s voicemail for important messages

• Notify the deceased’s landlord of the death
• Notify local authorities that the bereaved’s home will be vacant off and on
• Notify local authorities that the deceased’s home will be vacant
• Notify the deceased’s employer of the death, as directed by the next-of-kin
• Move the deceased’s vehicle, if parked in a public space

• Purchase supplies for a funeral memory board
• Notify people about the death, as directed by the next-of-kin
• Forward the deceased’s mail, as directed by the next-of-kin
• Cancel/transform the deceased’s social-media accounts, as directed by the next-of-kin
• Cancel/forward the deceased’s email account(s), as directed by the next-of-kin

• Cancel the deceased’s cell-phone contract and/or recycle the device, as directed by the next-of-kin
• Locate the deceased’s important documents, e.g., a will, insurance policies, military discharge, etc.
• Drive/accompany the bereaved to a grief-support group
• Suggest simple forms of exercise to the bereaved, such as a walk or riding a bike
• Ensure the bereaved eats regularly and/or properly

• Monitor the bereaved for signs of alcohol and/or drug abuse
• Monitor the bereaved for signs of exhaustion, sleep loss and/or depression
• Purchase a blank journal and encourage the bereaved to record his or her feelings
• Suggest or plan helpful temporary “distractions” as needed, such as a movie, game night, dinner, etc.
• Encourage the bereaved to share a favorite memory about the deceased

• Provide quiet, non-judgmental companionship
• Use the deceased’s name during conversations
• Phone or email the bereaved often, and for no reason
• Listen, watch and love